Motherhood is a beautiful, life-changing journey, but let’s be honest, it can also leave you feeling disconnected from yourself. Between sleepless nights, endless responsibilities, and the mental load of parenting, it’s no surprise that many mums experience dips in both confidence and libido. But here’s the thing: it’s not just about hormones or the constant exhaustion, it’s about how connected you feel to you.
Enter self-care. Not the buzzword-y, bubble-bath-only kind of self-care, but intentional practices that help you feel seen, heard, and nurtured. When you prioritise your wellbeing, you naturally create space to feel more confident, more in tune with your body, and yes, more connected to your desires.
Here’s how self-care can be a game-changer for both your libido and your confidence.
1. Reclaiming Your Body (and Mind) Through Self-Care
After having a baby, it’s common to feel like your body belongs to everyone but you. From breastfeeding to constant physical demands, you can lose that sense of ownership over your own skin.
Self-care helps you reclaim that.
• Movement: Gentle exercise like yoga, stretching, or even dancing around your living room isn’t just good for your health, it reconnects you to how your body feels, moves, and responds.
• Touch: This isn’t about intimacy with a partner; it’s about you. Apply body oils slowly, enjoy a long shower without rushing, or try a simple self-massage. This helps reawaken body awareness in a way that feels nourishing, not performative.
When you’re more present in your body, it’s easier to tune into desire—not as something you “should” feel, but as something that naturally flows when you’re connected to yourself.
2. Confidence Starts with How You Treat Yourself
Confidence isn’t about looking perfect. It’s about how you feel in your skin and the relationship you have with yourself. When you constantly put yourself last, it chips away at that relationship.
Try this:
• Dress for you: Even on days when you’re home with the kids, wear something that makes you feel good. It could be a bold lipstick, a soft jumper, great quality loungewear, or that dress you love.
• Affirmations with action: Don’t just tell yourself you’re beautiful,show yourself. Compliment your reflection, dance in the mirror, take selfies because you feel good, not because you have to post them.
• Celebrate small wins: Got through the day without losing your cool? Managed a quick workout? Honour those moments. Confidence grows when you acknowledge your own efforts.
When you feel more confident, desire often follows and not out of obligation, but because you feel vibrant and alive in your own skin.
3. Emotional Self-Care: Clearing Space for Desire
Desire doesn’t thrive in stress. When your mind is overloaded with to-do lists, worries, and mental clutter, there’s little room left for connection to yourself or a partner.
Emotional self-care helps create that space:
• Boundaries: Say no when you need to. Protect your time and energy like they’re sacred because they are.
• Mindfulness: Simple breathing exercises, journaling, or even sitting quietly for a few minutes can help you shift from “survival mode” to being more present.
• Connection beyond motherhood: Engage in activities that remind you of who you are outside of being “mum.” It could be reading, painting, or catching up with friends, nurturing your identity fuels your emotional wellbeing and, by extension, your desire.
4. Self-Care Is Not Selfish—It’s Essential!
There’s a common misconception that self-care is indulgent, especially for mums. But here’s the truth: when you care for yourself, you show up better in every area of your life. Your relationships benefit, your mental health thrives, and yes, your libido gets a natural boost because you’re not running on empty.
Desire isn’t just physical. It’s emotional, mental, and deeply tied to how you feel about yourself. When you feel nurtured, seen, and connected, desire has room to flourish.
ASL Quick Self-Care Rituals to Boost Confidence & Libido:
• 5-minute dance breaks to your favourite song
• A slow skincare routine without rushing
• Journaling about what makes you feel beautiful
• Reading a book that inspires or excites you
• Wearing something that makes you feel sensual, even if no one else sees it
Remember self-care isn’t a luxury, it’s the foundation of your wellbeing. When you prioritise yourself, even in small ways, you’re not just boosting your confidence, you’re creating space for desire, joy, and connection to thrive.
You deserve to feel good. Not just as a mum, but as you.
